Some of you may be able to tell from my blog posts but I suffer from an incurable disease and I struggle with it daily. The last few months in my quiet times with the Lord I have been asking him for the strength to help me get through the day.
When you suffer from something like this you constantly feel like your worthless, that your too young to be so weak and some days when my body is tired I would feel guilty for staying inside and resting it. I was becoming discouraged and often wondered how God could use me when I am so weak.
This last week God has answered my prayers and he has really been encouraging and comforting me. I am still struggling with this and I probably will for most of my life but I know the Lord is dealing with my heart on this matter.
The verse above is helping me in many ways, God is speaking to me and strengthening my inner spirit, at the end of the day that is the one thing that I will take with me into eternity. I will part with this frail body one day but my spirit will last forever. If I am to struggle with this disease for the rest of my life and God uses it to bring him glory then that is a challenge I am willing to accept.
I do not know the plans for my life (Jeremiah 29:11) and I may never know them but each day I am going to strive to trust in my wonderful saviour.
I surrender it all to you Lord not my will but yours.
I’m holding on to hope
I’m holding on to grace
I’m fully letting go
I’m surrendered to Your ways
The anchor for my soul
Father You will never change
I love You, I love You."
If an incurable disease has invaded your life, refuse to let it touch your spirit. Your body can be severely afflicted, and you may have a great struggle. But if you keep trusting God’s love, your spirit will remain strong. —Dave Egner
Our greatest enemy is not disease, but despair."